I don't really feel I can use this as an outlet, or facebook or twitter without getting ripped on atm so this'll be the last update I do, I ll probably just use this for music and start a new invite only for this shit. I feel like maybe some people read this just for new material to laugh at me behind my back.

basically I'm up at half 5 again, and I can't turn off, I worked something out too. She was sad all september, she was so sad. I assumed it was because I was leaving and she couldn't cope. Turns out she was cheating on me with her new guy (and she admitted to having cheated on him already too, funny how the world works). I guess I have reason to break his legs now, and it is kind of my business about him now too. I don't really feel hurt by this, it makes it obvious how she was "over" me so quickly, she had been even before I left.

I think about our last days together. She just cried and I held her and told her it was going to be ok. I was so sad, and excited at the same time, but I felt like at least she cared I was leaving, at least I would have someone back home who still cares for me. But she wasn't crying over me, she was crying for herself because she felt bad for cheating. Even now she doesnt have the decency to tell me, I'm the one having to confront her.

Years together, so many good times, so many bad and that's the note she wanted to go out on, and do you know what I'd still do anything for her. I must be so pathetic

If you managed to endure that shit there is now no reward because google waves a piece of shit